I found this bookmark in my devotional recently and it spoke comfort to me this evening that I really needed.
In most name books my name means “Butterfly”. I’ve always like that meaning. I imagine something really beautiful flitting and fleeting here, there and everywhere just bringing a smile to people’s faces wherever it goes. It’s a happy picture to me.
About ten years ago someone gave me this sweet bookmark that has my Christian name-meaning on it, which is “Walks with God”. It’s an interesting meaning to me because for many years I have had dreams or visions of taking walks with Jesus. These dreams always bring me a great sense of comfort and peace. Sometimes we are walking through fields and other times, along the beach. No matter the setting, just knowing that I am walking with Jesus brings a sense of complete wellness about all things and I am always filled with true joy.
Vanessa “Walks with God”
I was driving through the winding back roads making my way from Franklin to Nolensville today, enjoying the beauty of the blooming countryside. It seemed like every 30 seconds I would see something beautiful that took my breath away and I found myself wishing that I had someone with me to appreciate this lovely drive. Honestly, it wasn’t that I was just wishing about it, I actually felt an immediate sense of being alone and it literally caused me physical pain. Right in the middle of my beautiful drive… sunroof open, fresh air coming in through the windows and suddenly I felt the breath taken from me.
Just before I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes, I said out loud, “Jesus, are you enjoying this ride? Didn’t the Father do a good job on all this?”
Vanessa walks with God.
God is with me. I know this. He walks with me… rides with me… goes before me and watches behind me.
“Thank you Father God that you are with me always. I am never truly alone. You walk with me and our relationship grows as we walk together. Thank you for showing me how to build relationship with you through times of prayer together… our “walks” together. You said that if I commit my ways to you, trust in YOU, you will act. You will come through with what you promised in your Word. I am so comforted by your presence. You won’t let my foot stumble if I keep my eyes on you. I am committed to you!”
This subject made me think of the chorus to the hymn “In the Garden”. It’s rolling around in my head tonight…
And He walks with me, and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own; And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.
I was out running errands today and I drove by the Islamic Center of Tennessee in Antioch, TN. I feel much like I do when I drive by the Palm reading place… compelled to pray. I don’t hate the people who come here. On the contrary, I love them. I want them all the meet Christ and find true love, joy, peace and freedom!
Islamic Center of Tennessee in Antioch, TN
Muslims around the world are saying that Jesus is appearing to them in dreams and visions and they are converting to Christianity. Christ brings true love, peace and joy. I am praying today that the people who enter this Islamic Center who are truly seeking God, that they will seek there and be unfulfilled until they find Christ.
The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. We all can’t go to the Middle East and frankly, we don’t need to because the religion of Islam has come to us. We don’t fight this with flesh and blood but this is a spiritual battle and it will be won in the spirit as we pray. Pray with me that people seeking God as they enter this Islamic Center will be dissatisfied until they meet the one true God, Jesus Christ. He truly is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No man goes to Father God but through Christ. (John 14:60)
God, use me to love people to Christ. Let me speak the words of Christ and may the power of God transform lives in the Kingdom of God. Lift the veil of deception and let the Truth of the Gospel of Christ be heard, understood and received but Muslims seeking God. ~Amen
Several years ago, I went to see one of the most beautiful movies I’ve ever seen, Memoirs of a Geisha. I have read that much of the movie was actually filmed on sets in Northern California but many of the scenes were also shot in one of my favorite cities in the world, Kyoto, Japan. The story line of this movie is compelling as well as the scenery, with a nice balance of fantasy, romance, tension, adventure and poignant reality. A young Japanese girl, Chiyo, is sold into slavery and through continuous difficult circumstances throughout her life, fights to make a better life for herself. One day the young Chiyo meets the Chairman, who buys her a cherry sorbet and gives her his handkerchief. Her spirit is lifted with hope by his kindness and Chiyo makes a promise to herself to become a geisha so that she may have a better life.
I won’t ruin it for you by telling the whole story if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie but today I wanted to talk about a particular scene toward the end of the movie. Chiyo is standing on the top of a mountain holding the handkerchief that The Chairman had given her when she was just a child. Her life has not turned out the way she planned it and she is agonizing over the disappointment of it all. She looks at the handkerchief that she has cherished for all these years and then, she let it go! The handkerchief flies away and the music swells… the wind is whipping through her hair and I’m reaching for the napkins I picked up when I bought the movie popcorn so that I can wipe my tears away!
Chiyo…. having just released the handkerchief
That handkerchief represented all the hopes and dreams Chiyo had for a better life but it also represented HER specific plan about how that would be accomplished. She had held on to that handkerchief… and the dreams it represented, but after trying for many years to make things work according to HER plan, she finally let it go.
I remember a day when I heard those three little words DIRECTLY from the Lord, “Let it go.” I, too, had a nice specific plan for my life that I was working hard towards and focused on believing and praying that it would come to pass. It was a good plan, too! Some things were going according to plan but other things weren’t working out as I had hoped so instead of letting my plans be more fluid so that God could be in control, I just did what any good Christian woman would do; I prayed more, asked my friends for advice and of course, added some FASTING to my prayer. Never mind that obedience is greater than sacrifice…surely God’s will would line up with MY will if I could just sacrifice more! That didn’t work out like I had planned either.
In the end, it is THY will be done on earth as it is in heaven. My prayer should have been (and now is) “Lord, let MY will and desires come in line with YOUR will… and let YOUR will be done in my life.”
It was a Thursday and I was headed out to The Refuge for a 2 day retreat with my ladies prayer group. Sister Dora and Sister Clara were going to be our guest ministers for the retreat and I was looking forward to meeting them. The stories I had heard about them were reminiscent of some of the old revivalists I had been reading about from the early 1900’s. I just KNEW God was going to speak something to me during this time together… after all, I had been fasting for 3 days prior to these meetings. (I’m chuckling to myself now, just thinking about the human piety of it all.)
The view of the river from the back porch at The Refuge
God did, indeed, speak to me at that retreat and I am happy to say that I didn’t try to argue with Him and offer more sacrifices but I chose to simply be obedient and it was the most freeing experience of my life. Sister Dora and Clara were praying for everyone in the room. God was speaking and great things were happening. People were getting long detailed encouraging prophecies and words of knowledge. The gifts of the Holy Spirit were flowing! Finally, it was my turn for them to pray for me. They prayed in the spirit for a while and then… >dramatic pause< …. the Word came.
“Let it go.”
That was it.
Nothing else.
No explanation and nothing dramatic, just “God says…. let it go.”
That was all I needed to hear that day. I knew exactly what it meant. I was bent over while they were praying for me and once I received that word, I remember standing up straight and tall and simply saying, “Ok”. That was the end of it. I had been carrying a burden that was created of my own will. I knew how to pray. I knew God heard me when I prayed but God wanted me to stop asking for things out of MY own will but to simply be obedient to HIS will. I “let it go” that day and truly was set free from the burden of an unfulfilled longing that was simply killing me.
That was about 15 years ago and for some reason, God brought both of these stories to my remembrance today. Sometimes we have to let things go because they aren’t good for us, like bad habits or friendships that are pulling in a wrong direction. Some things we simply have to let go because God wants to work on it a while and then He will put it back in your hands again. Sometimes letting go is about timing; you want it now, God says later. Our obedience to God is always what is most pleasing to him.
God, help me live my life with my hands open for what you bring in and take out but never be so prideful or selfish to close my grip tightly on them so that you no longer have control. I submit my will to be obedient to your will.
